Week 3, day 1

I went to see the chinese doctor again the day before yesterday for another acuptuncture session.

I was determined to tell her that I didn’t want to take anymore tablets because firstly, they do not seem to do anything. (I failed everyday to take them in the morning or the evening, but still, I was having 8 tablets a day!) And secondly, they are not cheap at all.

The chinese doctor managed to convince me to continue the treatemet. She said she was trying to find the right balance between giving the best treatment possible at the best cost.

So I went for the acuptuncture session again today.
I told her that my period had been delayed by one week.

She put a lot more needles this time.

And although when I first went for acupuncture, I felt somewhat, an improvement in the next 4 to 5 days after, this time, nothing at all. I feel it’s getting worse even. Is it because I have been drinking a different tea, recently? I have been drinking Yerba Mate from Argentina. It does have a bit of mattein, which is a stimulant like caffeine.
I really like this drink. I had about 3/4 litre everyday.

I will not drink any Yerba Mate this week-end and see how it goes. And I will try not to forget to take my medication this time. I really would like this to work.
I do not want these urges anymore. I want to be able to drink 3 pints of beers and be OK.
I want to be able to go the toilet and that it lasts for ever and ever..

Week 2 – Day 4

Well well. Not new is…bad news.

About 1o days now after my first acuptucture session, things are back to how they have always been.
I have to say that I have missed the medication most days, either in the morning in the evening.

I simply cannot bring myself to take 16 tablets a day of whatever it might be.
I don’t care if it’s natural. I don’t like it, so I forget.

I don’t feel it is doing anything anyway.

Last week, was an extremely stressful week at work. I was extremely tired also, because I had done too much sport. So that didn’t help. But if I saw improvements up to four days after the acucpunture sessions, they faded away after that.
Furthermore, my period was about one week late.

I am always extremely regular. I do not know why it was late.
It could have been the medication, the acupuncture session or the stress and tiredness I felt during the week.

My next acupuncture session is taking place in two days time.
Then I will know whether the improvements I had were real

Or placebo.

Week 1 – Day 5

Second day of the week and I am still really tired.

What was worse: I had two meetings back to back today. It was very tiring.

My bladder did play with me all day. It does that when I am tired.
I had a coffee as well. Mistake. Went to the toilet four times within 1 hour.
Will not have a coffee again for a while.
But it was strange that yesterday I had a coffee on an empty stomach, and it didn’t have any bad consequences.

I forgot to take my medication this morning.
Not sure anything is related.
Just need to go to bed really early tonight.

Add on at 21.21. Went for a drink with a friend. Drank one mojito and went to the toilet twice afterwards. With unpleasant urges.

Week 1 – Day 4 – Sleepy Monday

I was really tired today.
I am always tired and grumpy on Monday morning, but usually fine after lunch.
Today it is not the case. I had a tough workout yesterday. It may explain it, although my week-end was very quiet overall.

At about 11.30 I had a coffee to wake me up, which I never do, because it makes my bladder go crazy.

Even more strange. I didn’t need to go to the toilet in the morning, from 8.30 am to 1pm.
When I finally went at 1pm, I didn’t need to rush. Well only at the very end, as always.

And that’s despite drinking coffee and two glasses of water.
That looks like an improvement!
Unless it’s placebo!! (I think that’s what Dr Crippen, the NHS blog doctor say)

In the afternoon I had a meeting.
And again, didn’t need to go the toilet straight after. (My boss did!) Which I thought was quite positive.

However, after work, as I was going to the shops, I had a sudden urge. I even thought of going back home because it was quite a severe urge. But I decided to hold until the next shop I was supposed to go to, which had toilets.

I don’t like to give in too quickly. First because I am stubborn, second because it gives me an opportunity to work on my perineal muscles, which is important.
So I went to the toilet in the second shop, and it was not a huge quantity to justify the urge, for sure.

Tomorrow in another day..

Week 1 – Day 2 the day after.

I have just woken up and taken my medication. I am not too keen on taking tablets, but it’s ok, I want to follow the treatment properly. And besides, they are natural, that what it says on the label.

Last night, I went to the toilets about three times. Maybe more. That is because I drank a lot of jasmine tea in the evening and I had one last cup just before going to bed.
Getting up at night doesn’t really bother me. I have a very good sleep and I am used to it now.
When I stay at my parents it’s annoying though. I sleep in a bunked bed (the top one) and the toilets are downstairs.
It’s always quite an exercise to go. And when I am at my parents, I go to the toilet more than usual.
This is because being at my parents stresses me out a bit.
As I said earlier, I can measure my level of stress with my bladder. If I go more, it’s because I am stressed.
So when I see I need to go more, I try and analyse the reasons of my stress.
For my parents, it’s obvious. I realize I was very stressed as a child. My parents stressed me out.

They would always grill us on whether we had done our homework if they saw that we were not studying. We didnt’ really have the right to watch TV. They would put a lot of pressure on us. On our results at school. On our general behaviour, from a religious point of view.
When I left my parents’ house, I was very young,  18. I was escaping this environment. I never came back to live with them. I went to live very far.

Probably things with my bladder improved then because I alway notice when I am back to my parents house, I need to go the toilet more. And I even feel embarrassed to go, something that doesn’t happen to me anymore in my daily life. I am embarassed that as an adult, I still have this problem. My parents can see it, even if they don’t say anything.

Anyway, I am going to get on with they day.

From an objective point of view, I don’t think this first session of acupuncture will have done anything. I have another scheduled in 10 days time. I’ll try and keep a diary of things in the meanti

Same day – evening

As expected, I went to the bathroom quite a lot (because I drank a lot of jasmin tea again) with the usual urges.
No changes so far, at all.

Week 1 – my first acuptuncture treatment

Ok so here I am, I have made up of my mind and I am doing this.

Actually, I decided last week to do something about my problem, and I booked an appointment with my GP. The earliest slot was two weeks away so I thought that I’d try something different first.
And I also read some things about how the GPs intends to help you with the overactiv bladder problem.
They first give you tablets. Then if that doesn’t work, you are directed to some specialist nurse that will look at your behaviour and give some tips on how try to makes things better.
Like the kegel exercises. Thank you very much I have done that before. I always work on my perineal muscles.
Then she gives you some calendar where you have to note how often you go to the toilet.
From this calendar she tries to make you delay the time you will go to the toilet everytime you have an urge.
For God’s sake, do you know how many times I have tried to do that? I always try to hold myself. But people who do these exercises do not realise how it feels to have these urges.
You need very strong perineal muscles to control this. You need to try and stay calm, and try and continue concentrating on whatever you are doing.
And does it solve the problem?
No. I improves things maybe. But it doesn’t solve the root of the problem which is…you know by now: the urge!

My appointement to the acupuncture doctor was at a trustworty chinese treatment centre.
I had met the doctor before. She was chinese (I like that of course). Didn’t speak perfect english (neither do I!), but spotted my problem straight away.
She said that I had to break the circle. Being stressed, needing the toilets. Getting more stressed, needing the toilets even more. Going to the toilet as a habit. My bladder needs to break free from my mind, she said.

I could only agree.
She put needles on my lower stomach, top of my head, feet and hands. And I kind of fell asleep for 30mn.
Well at first I had fits of laughter for some reasons. I have no idea why. Thankfully I was all alone, the doctor didn’t see me. She would have thought I was crazy probably.
And then I just listen to the music and relaxed.

Then the doctor gave me tablets. I am not really keen on tablets but it’s ok.
There was a set for my mind (to calm my stress) and another one for my bladder (to calm it down)
I need to take them morning and evening.

Coming back home, I did feel my bladder starting to contract and then stop contracting on its own. Which never happens. I liked that.
Then I started drinking lots of jasmine tea. I love jasmine tea, it makes me feel good. When I drink jasmine tea I always have not two, not three but five or six cup. I just love it. And quite soon I needed to go the toilet.
With strong urge, as always.
So on day 1, I have not seen any effects.
I will take my tablets and see.

Acupuncture and placebo effect

Now why am I trying this?
Because some research shows that it has cured people. So why not try.

I have read some annoying posts by bloggers such as the NHS blog doctor, saying that alernative medecine is all rubbish and ripping people off. Well I personally would never put chinese medecine and homeopathy at the same level, the way he does. I think one has to have respect for chinese medecine. It is an old science, very old.
It has an holistic approach to treatments, which makes perfect sense, especially for a problem like mine.

Doctors have tried to cure the physical problem I had with tablets and kegel exercises, and it didn’t help. The kegel exerices were good. They did help control my perineal muscles. But they didn’t stop me for rushing to the toilet.

I need a treatment that cures my mind and my body. Because I have identified over the years that my problem is probably a bit physical, I do have a sensitive bladder. But it was made worse by the amout of stress and anxiety I have felt in my childhood. I was a very stressed child. My mother was not very caring when I was first born. I think I was affected by that.
Now which occidental doctor would be able to treat my mind and my body?

Some people like the NHS Blog Doctor think that acunpuncture treatments only give placebo effects.
Well, I am writing this blog in response to that.

If my problem improves, that is to say if I:

- Can drink two pints of beers in a row without going to the toilet 3 times in a row afterwards
- Not go to the toilet at all during the night (now I go about twice)
- Have a proper wee when my bladder is full. (It’s never full)
- Drink coffee (I must not drink coffee, it makes my bladder go completely out of control)

Then it will mean that this treatement will have done something.

And I will also question the words ‘placebo effect’ here.
It is what the occidental medecine call an improvement that is due to medecine with no therapeutic value. Hence an improvement that was only directed by a person’s mind.

Now is this in itself such a bad thing? I mean the mind does play a very important role in someone’s health in general.
People die of sadness and loneliness everyday. And survive very serious conditions because they decided that they were going to overcome things.
The mind is powerful, occidental medecine completely overlooks it. But nobody can deny its power.

If then acupuncture is going to give me placebo effect that will cause my urge incontience to cease, well it will be an amazing placebo effect! Placebo is cool!!
I don’t care if science cannot prove it. Since when science has the response to everything? Why should we use it as an argument of authority?

Placebo effect, I am waiting for you!!

Why now

I wonder why I never tried acunpuncture before.
I come from a religious family so I suppose that I considered it as something bad.
I have changed my mind since and I am interested in alternative  medecine.
That doesn’t mean I believe that acupuncture is going to cure me. I am just trying something different.

The reason why also I think I didn’t even tried to see a doctor is that the problem has become part of my life.
When I go out, I know there are going to be toilets so it’s ok. In the office, there are toilets, in bars and cinemas as well.
I get really annoyed when I drink two glasses of anything with alcohol in a row,  and need to go twice, even three times somethimes in the space of 1 hour. It happens if I have a date for sure, because I am nervous as well.
I worry about what people think about that. But people never ever say anything. And that also prevents me from doing something about  my problem.

I find some comfort in going to the toilet in certain circumstances. My enemy has become my friend.
If I am stressed, restless, bored, I will go to the toilet, the same way as others would smoke a cigarette, bite their nails or do whatever. Me it’s the toilets. It makes me do something.
So I guess that also prevent things from improving.

Here I am

I have created this blog because I would like to share my experience.

I am a normal girl.
Well, big girl now, 29 years old, successful career girl, lots of friends, great social life..

But there is one thing.
I have an overative bladder.

It’s been like that all my life.
It is not preventing me to live normally. I organize and lead work meetings, go out with my friends, drink lots of wine and cocktails, do whatever I want.
But sometimes, ‘it’ is causing a disruption and that is the reason why I have decided to do something about it.

The facts.
I have what doctors call: ‘urge incontinence’. I can’t believe it is called that. Incontinence. Like I pee on myself. Not at all.
My problem is that sometimes, and it is due either to stress, or too much liquid aborbed, or the nature of what I have drunk (coffee, tea, orange juice, anything acid or with caffeine), I need to rush to the toilet.
Well I always rush to the toilet in the end, even if at first I was going there without rushing.

When I go to the toilets, I never wee a lot. Always a little. Sometimes when I go to public toilets and hear a girl weeing in the cubicle next to mine, I hear that it is going on and on, and on and on. I can never believe it. How much some people can hold. I dream that one day I am one of these girls.

Things have improved greatly over the years.
When I was 6 or 7, I had to go to the toilet every hours at least, probably.
The situation was causing me so much distress, that it was making things worse I think. When I had to go out in town with my parents by car, I very often needed to go the toilet as soon as I got to the car, even before we had left.
I could feel there was not much in my bladder. But it was feeling so tense that it was giving me shivers. The most unpleasant sensations. Without mentionning how distressed I was feeling at knowing that I would not be able to go to the toilet for a while.

I remember that by the age of 14, I could hold a little more than 1.30.
By the age of 18, a little more than 2 hours
And now, I comfortably hold 3 hours, even more if I don’t drink anything.
But I love drinking. For some reason I never stopped myself from drinking because of my problem. I always learnt to bear the consequences.

I had many medical tests done, when I was about 14.
X rays, urine tests, even an echography.
My problem was not physical the doctor said.
He gave me some tablets that didn’t work at all.

At 18, I did the Kegel exercises and it helped.
But it didn’t cure the urge.
This urge has always been with me.

I can measure my level of stress with my bladder. If I go a lot, I am almost certainly stressed. It took me a while to figure it out. And then I understood. So now I try to calm my mind to calm my bladder. But it always work for a few minutes before I really have to go.

I have decided to try something different now.
Go for a more holistic approach to my problem and try acupuncture.

I will tell you how it goes